Back to Blog
Friends and foes, the time has come to kill an image of myself that should have died a long time ago.
We all have a version of ourselves that exists only in our minds.
You wake up in the mornings, find yourself in a conversation, face to face with someone less than perfect. Who would choose me first? I can't write a book. I can't learn how to play that instrument. I'm too ordinary to do extraordinary things.
But that is not my story.
I realised that, for a long time, part of me was still stuck in the mind and body of that sixteen-year-old girl with no friends.
Here is what I did to combat that:
1) I had patience in my ideas.
I found an idea that I was genuinely passionate about, did the reasearch, and spent years working on it. I didn't give up on the first hurdle. I spent nights combing through texts about WW2 Germany, and I became a spectator in real life people's upside-down worlds. I cried for their losses and cheered for their triumphs. Those people deserve their stories to be heard. There are so many lessons we still haven't learned.
2) I realised that my life is fleeting, and I didn't want to spend it living in other people's worlds and being a victim of their doctrine. That's why I'm not afraid to be prideful, and I pity anyone who misinterprets that for arrogance. I spent too much time doubting, underestimating, and ridiculing myself. It's time I give myself the same credit I give to everyone else. I will speak up for what I believe in front of large groups of people without wondering if I belong there. I will perfect my radio presence. I will write guest blogs for every website I can find. I will promote my writing, and I won't apologize for it.
3) I HAVE friends, and they are extraordinary, even if most of them do live on the other side of the world.
4) My main characters are special—specifically Josef. Above anything else, he is dazzling and original: bold, brave, daring, real, and a wonderful character I can't wait to share with the world. But in my eyes, he represents a version of me - the sixteen-year-old me with no friends. I learned that there were parts of her that were beautiful, but I was too scared to let them show. Josef has taught me many things, but the main thing I have learned is never to let the naysayers stand guard on my life. It's MY life, not yours. He taught me to keep doodling and to never get too comfortable being a version of me someone else created in their minds.
That got a lot more intense than I had initially planned. It's supposed to be a fun blog, damnit! Not a blog you think about at 3 am.
This is what happens when the gym's closed.
I am also collaborating with the wonderful Henry Hyde to work on the book trailer for The Boy Who Saw In Colours, and I wanted to share a little bit of storyboarding with you. Keep those eyes open and make sure you're following me on Twitter and Facebook for sneak peeks. I can't wait for you to see it.